Breakfast of champions?

There’s nothing I love more than holding the office door open for two mountainous fat brawds who can’t open the door themselves because they’re hands and arms are stacked so full with cookies, muffins, and mocha-chocha-triple-frappa-latinos. All for themselves. Breakfast of champions? I think not. I think it’s more like the “breakfast of someone that won’t live past 39.” Ever hear of oatmeal ladies? And I hear they have some mighty tasty yogurts on the market. You may want to look into it.

They probably spent about $20 each on their breakfast in the cafeteria. I don’t even have $20 in my wallet. So that tells me that someone that can afford to spend that much money on breakfast is probably making a lot more than me. So we’re busy investing company money in people that spend quite a while eating on company time. And we’re investing company money in people that obviously don’t give a damn about how long they live. So that means when they have a heart-attack and can’t come into work, we’ll have to train someone else to do their job. How smart is that?

And the person doing their job will probably be me. And I probably won’t get a raise for it either. So I still won’t be able to afford any breakfast. Thanks a lot fatties.