I Hate Sick Coffee Guy

“Well I’ve got a cold so I need my coffee strong today.”

I just overheard this at my desk. Which is next to the kitchen. And the garbage. And people yapping in my ear all day. But I digress.

If coffee guy has a cold, then why is he in work? Shouldn’t he be home so he doesn’t get everyone else at work sick? Why do people come into work when they’re all full of germs, sneezing and coughing on everything?

This may be my number one pet peeve in the world. Sick people contaminating otherwise healthy people. Of course it could just be because I am fresh from being sick for like a week. BUT, at least I had the decency to stay home when I didn’t feel well so as to prevent spreading my germs everywhere.

Exactly who does sick coffee guy think he is? Does he think his job is SO ultra-important that he has to come in to work and risk infecting 200+ people with his cold to do his ultra-important job?

I peered over my wall to see who it was. I know that guy.

He’s a nobody.

An infectious nobody full of mucous and bacteria, touching every single surface at the kitchen that he possibly can. He’s touched every cup, coffee pot, and artificial sweetener packet with his snotty, infected fingertips.

That’s right buddy cough a few more times with the coffee pot in your hand. That should do your co-workers good.

So, to everyone, you may want to refrain from drinking any coffee today.

And to sick coffee guy, you may want to watch your back in the men’s room. There’s been a rash of dudes getting kicked in the butt while at the urinals.